LOL-Jokes.com - aviation

Trouble with plane engines

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 10:24:03 -0700

While cruising at 36,000 feet, the airplane shuddered, and a passenger looked out the window."Oh no!" he screamed, "One of the engines just blew up!" Other passengers left their seats

I deserve a first class seat

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 11:55:59 -0700

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket

Those raccoons are not luggage

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 14:32:47 -0700

As migration approached, two elderly vultures doubted they could make the trip south, so they decided to go by airplane.When they checked their baggage, the attendant noticed that they were ca

A plane flying in the 1930s

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 18:27:06 -0700

In the early 1930's, a farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost."$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot. "That

Airlines running operating systems

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 11:26:45 -0800

Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different operating systems running them.DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it coast ti

Airlines running operating systems

Tue, 15 Mar 2005 00:16:19 -0800

Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different operating systems running them.DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it coast ti

Results of damage testing

Sat, 12 Feb 2005 01:05:01 -0800

It seems the US Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) has a unique device for testing the strength of windshields on airplanes. The device is a gun that launches a dead chicken at a plane's windshield

Don't be on this flight

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 05:48:36 -0700

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway ac

Are blind pilots flying?

Wed, 19 May 2004 01:58:04 -0700

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the

The Top Twenty Flight Advertising Slogans

Fri, 27 Feb 2004 09:24:35 -0800

1. BadAir: When you just can't wait for the world to come to you.2. BadAir: We're Amtrak with wings. 3. Join our frequent near-miss program. 4. On certain flights, every sectio

What just happened here?

Sun, 20 Jul 2003 07:46:12 -0700

A military cargo plane, flying over a populated area, suddenly loses power and starts to nose down. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. So he yells to the sol

A blind pilot is flying this plane?

Mon, 23 Jun 2003 14:10:06 -0700

I was flying from San Francisco to Los Angeles. By the time we took off, there had been a 45-minute delay and everybody on board was ticked. Unexpectedly, we stopped in Sacramento on the way. The flig

Air Force One crashes

Tue, 10 Jun 2003 08:02:27 -0700

Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was tota

blind pilots

Wed, 04 Jun 2003 15:42:02 -0700

One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.

The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rea

Real flight announcements

Wed, 28 May 2003 01:54:49 -0700

Occasionally, airline attendants make an effort to make the "in-flight safety lecture" and their other announcements a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples that have been heard or report