LOL-Jokes.com - animals

Rooster and Peanut Butter

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 13:22:28 -0700

What do you get when you cross a rooster and peanut butter?

A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth!

Sad Cat

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 23:53:16 -0700

True story - read the story - THEN look at the pictures.

"My sister-in law is from Oklahoma and has a slight accent. She has cats and when she lived in the south she would take them to the g

Why dogs sniff

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 21:12:52 -0700

Ed was a successful computer programmer and a happy family man. His life was blessed with a loving wife, 2 kids, three cats and a dog. Ed loved taking Rusty the dog for his evening walk and w

Animals in a Restaurant

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 15:44:51 -0700

There's these animals in a restaurant. The waiter comes over at the end of the night ...

The skunk says 'Don't look at me, I haven't got a scent'

The duck says 'Just put it on m

Q. What do you get when you cross a Pollack...

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 10:24:03 -0700

Q. What do you get when you cross a Pollack and a monkey?
A. Nothing. A monkey is too smart to fuck a Pollack.

Hungry Rooster

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 07:43:39 -0700

A Rolls Royce pulls up in front of a really expensive restaurant and a really rich sheik gets out from it followed by a harem of women, and a rooster. The "party" is escorted to a table and given a me

Donkey's Will Kill U

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 07:43:39 -0700

A guy with a donkey walked up to a psychic and asked about his future.
The psychic said, "when your donkey farts 3 times you will die."

So the man walked along with his donkey and the d

No, you should eat your fingers separately

Sat, 13 Aug 2005 15:41:15 -0700

Q: Is it good manners to eat fried chicken with your fingers?
A: No, you should eat your fingers separately.

Cheap Meat

Sat, 13 Aug 2005 02:19:15 -0700

Q: What's the cheapest kind of meat?
A: Deer balls. They are under a buck.

Porcupine and Mercedes

Thu, 11 Aug 2005 12:53:39 -0700

Q What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes?

A. The Mercedes has it's pricks on the inside!

Killed the Rooster

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 15:30:26 -0700

A guy who ran over a rooster on a country road late one night. He felt bad, so he went up to the nearby house, knocks on the door and says to the old farmer:
"Sir, I just ran over your Rooste

Vet

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 10:09:38 -0700

A man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet
rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the
examination table. The vet exami

Signs your cow has mad-cow disease.

Tue, 09 Aug 2005 10:06:02 -0700

Sure fire signs that your cow has mad-cow disease...

Your cow insists on wearing a little A-1 sauce behind each ear as cologne.
She refuses to let you milk her, saying "Not on th

Here, Piggy, Piggy

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 23:13:37 -0700

An old farmer and his wife had a bunch of pigs, and every morning the farmer
would head out to feed them. And every morning, he would see all the pigs
screwing up a storm. He would get t

A game of animal football

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 12:32:01 -0700

The animals were bored. Finally, the lion had an idea. "I know a really exciting game that the humans play called football. I've seen it on T.V."He proceeded to describe it to the rest of t