LOL-Jokes.com - lawyers

Deathbed lawyer

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 08:01:40 -0700

Q: Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?
A: He was looking for loopholes!

Buckle Up

Tue, 16 Aug 2005 02:30:04 -0700

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.A few minutes later, the pilot

Some last minute requests

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 07:43:39 -0700

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night.

Lawyers advice

Sat, 13 Aug 2005 07:40:03 -0700

Two guys, George and Harry, set out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are."

Lawyers Abode (Classic)

Sat, 06 Aug 2005 04:34:26 -0700

Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between heaven and hell was in need of some repair. So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer.

One way ticket to Mars

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 12:32:01 -0700

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, but with one catch - he couldn't return to Earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wan

Red Head Vs Blonde

Fri, 05 Aug 2005 01:50:25 -0700

What's the difference between a blonde and a redhead in bed?A blonde let's you leave the bed when you are satisfied - a redhead let's you leave the bed when SHE is satisfied.

Student debt

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 23:10:01 -0700

Applying for a job, the new lawyer was asked if paying back his law school tuition would be a problem."No," he replied. "I paid that back right after my first case.""Really," said the

The Defendant

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 23:10:01 -0700

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined."

"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.

Lawyer or ass?

Thu, 04 Aug 2005 17:49:13 -0700

A man walks into a bar and he's really pissed. The bartender gives him a drink
and asks what the problem is. All he says is, "all lawyers are a*******."

A man sitting in the cor

Experience

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 12:24:49 -0700

A motorist was on trial for hitting a pedestrian.

His lawyer argued, "Your Honor, my client has been driving for over twenty-five years."

"Your Honor," the plaintiff's lawyer retor

Upset

Mon, 01 Aug 2005 22:59:13 -0700

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that
morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

REAL Doc Vs. Attorny case

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 14:50:48 -0700

Attorney: So, doctor, you determined that a gunshot wound was the cause of
death of the patient?

Doctor: That's correct.

Attorney: Did you examine the patient when he c

Cross With A Blonde

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 22:48:24 -0700

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

A1: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.
A2: Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won't

Sailboat

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 14:36:23 -0700

A young lawyer decided that his life needed a hobby. Since his buddies talked about sailing, he thought he'd give it a go.

He went to the local boat show and asked a lot of questions. Everyth