LOL-Jokes.com - catholics

Fun Things To Do at Church

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 12:06:48 -0700

- Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class and say:
"If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."

- A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the sch

Is PMS in the Bible?

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 03:29:34 -0700

A man is sitting down in front of the fire place and is reading the Bible.
His wife comes in and looks down at him and says, "Why do you always sit
there and read that thing, what does it

Grace

Mon, 04 Jul 2005 18:37:55 -0700

Holy mother full of grace,
Bless my boyfriends gorgeous face.
Bless his hair that tends to curl,
keep him safe from all the girls.
Bless His dick the one I sucked,
And bl

Vacation To Rome

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 23:47:54 -0700

A man walks in to Joe's Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As
he snips away, Joe asks, "What's up?" The man explains he's
taking a vacation to Rome.

"ROME?!" Joe says, "Why

Explorer in the Amazon

Sun, 26 Jun 2005 20:49:29 -0700

Once there was an explorer lost in the deepest part of the Amazon. After a
few days, he finds himself suddenly surrounded by hundreds of
blood-thirsty natives. He looks up to the sky and s

The Pope's New Camera

Tue, 26 Apr 2005 22:30:28 -0700

A member of the paparazzi is looking in the window of the Pope
one morning and snaps a picture of him masturbating. As the
flash goes off, the Pope sees him and runs after him.

The Old and the Young Nun

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 11:09:14 -0700

A young nun joined a church to serve God. She was very religious
and very good. It all happened one day, she suddenly had this
desire to have sex. She knew it's wrong but she couldn't help

Damn Kids

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 10:58:25 -0700

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a
very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the
street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too

Different Religions

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 10:54:49 -0700

All of the different religions have varying methods of
determining how much money is given to God and how much they
keep. The Baptists draw a circle on the ground and throw the
money

Sister Mary of the Conception Whore House

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 05:23:12 -0700

A man is driving down the highway on his way to a fast weekend
in Las Vegas when he sees a roadsign which states, "Sister Mary
of the Conception Whore House, 50 miles." He pays the sign

Nun, Priest and a Camel

Mon, 04 Apr 2005 18:30:47 -0700

A Nun and a priest were crossing the desert on a camel. On the
third day out the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.
After dusting themselves off, the nun and the priest surveyed

Divine Golf

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 11:33:57 -0800

Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses
pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in
the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickl

Walking on Water

Sat, 26 Feb 2005 15:17:28 -0800

Two Rabbis and a priest go fishing. When the three are out on the water,
one Rabbi says, "Oops, I left the cooler in the trunk, I'd better go get
it or we won't be able to eat or drink."

Do Whales Eat Humans?

Tue, 15 Feb 2005 06:36:37 -0800

A little girl was learning about whales and she went up to her
teacher to ask her a question, "Teacher, do whales eat humans?"
The teacher replied, "No, their necks are too small." The lit

The Lord's Prayer

Tue, 08 Feb 2005 00:50:36 -0800

A mother was teaching her 3 year old daughter the Lord's prayer. For
several evenings at bedtime she repeated it after her mother.

One night she said she was ready to solo.