LOL-Jokes.com - buddists / monks

What To Do At Church

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 03:57:59 -0800

1. Walk into a church. Sit for about 5 min. into servce.
Stand up and say "Oh Sh*t This Isn't The F*cking Wedding". Then
walk out.
2. Go over to a criing baby and say to the pa

Shit Happens

Mon, 03 Jan 2005 04:01:40 -0800

TAOISM: Shit happens.

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "Shit happens".

ZEN: (What is the sound of shit happening?)

JESUITISM: If shit happens and when nobody is watc

Religious Vocation?

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 04:57:34 -0800

A young man concludes that the religious life is for him.
Accordingly he joins an order with a strict vow of silence.
There is one exception to the rule however. Every ten years each

Eating Monks

Tue, 10 Feb 2004 16:24:31 -0800

There once was a cannibal that was very hungry. He went to the
local convent and got a monk. He went back to his house and
boiled the monk. He started eating it, and he tasted terrible.

Heaven and Room 8

Fri, 09 May 2003 11:27:57 -0700

A man is ready to enter the pearly white gates of heaven and St.
Peter asks, "Religion?"

The man answers, "Muslim."

St. Peter replies, "ok, go to room 23 but be quiet a

Change from Within

Mon, 16 Sep 2002 00:01:31 -0700

So the Zen master steps up to the hot dog cart and says, "Make
me one with everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen
master, who pays with a $20

Oh Buddah

Tue, 09 Apr 2002 06:27:21 -0700

One say this guy was sky diving. When the man went to
pull the rip cord and it wouldnt open. The man was terrified for
his life. So he yelled,"Oh Buddah, save me". So Buddah stuck

Holy Water

Fri, 23 Nov 2001 21:17:16 -0800

The minister of a church said to four monks "All of you can have
a week off, but make sure to tell me your sins in the week."
After a week, the four monks come back. They line up. The

The Monks Are Coming

Tue, 25 Sep 2001 02:42:16 -0700

There's a big hill. On one side of this hill sits a monastery,
on the other side there is a convent. In the middle, on top of
the hill, there is a pub.

One day the monks decid

Can't tell ya.

Wed, 27 Jun 2001 21:21:33 -0700

A man worked at a gas station out in the middle of no where.
One
day when he was driving home from work and he ran out of gas
(how ironic). So the man walks and walks and eventu

Religeous Prostitue

Fri, 02 Mar 2001 18:40:44 -0800

A monk was walking along the road when he met a prostitute. She
explained that for $5 he could have the best sex ever.
The monk quickly agreed and she told him to meet her at 6:30 and

Spiritualism and Reincarnation

Mon, 11 Sep 2000 20:02:32 -0700

Two lovers interested in spiritualism and reincarnation vowed that if
either died, the one remaining would try to contact the partner in the
other world exactly 30 days after their dying.