LOL-Jokes.com - engineers

No Refills

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 05:21:16 -0700

A distraught patient phoned her doctor's office. "Is it true", the woman
wanted to know, "that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest
of my life?"

"Ye

Boarding from what gate?

Wed, 17 Aug 2005 10:34:52 -0700

At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding
announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on the public address system
saying, "We apologize for the inc

Acronyms-Abbreviations Coded Really Ominously Null

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 15:05:13 -0700

PCMCIA - People Can't Memorize Computer Industry
SCSI - System Can't See It
DOS - Defunct Operating System
BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM - I Blame M

DRIVERS

Sat, 30 Jul 2005 12:10:24 -0700

I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into
the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole
thing generally looked like an

20 reasons dogs don't use computers

Tue, 26 Jul 2005 09:15:35 -0700

20) Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
19) Fetch command not available on all platforms.
18) Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17) Too diffic

The less you know the more money you make

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 19:24:45 -0700

Proof:
We know that
a) Time is Money
b) Knowledge is Power
and from Physics
c) Power = Work / Time

By simple substitution:
Knowledge = Work / M

Catching a criminal

Thu, 14 Jul 2005 00:31:09 -0700

"Two policemen are considering the problem of catching the bandit. One of them
starts to calculate the optimal mixed strategy for the chase. The other
policeman protests.

Foot pedal

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 08:10:43 -0700

An exasperated caller to a computer Tech support couldn't get her new computer
to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her
what happened when she pus

Tim Buck Two

Fri, 08 Jul 2005 00:09:31 -0700

At the finals of the National Poetry Competition the two finalist were an
unlikely pair. Finalist number one was a Harvard educated professor of
literature and the winner of several pre

Your sound card is defective

Tue, 05 Jul 2005 10:40:19 -0700

Customer: "Your sound card is defective and I want a new one."
Tech Support: "What seems to be the problem?" Customer: "The balance is
backwards. The left channel is coming out Of the

OBJECTS IN MIR IS CLOSER THAN THEY APPEAR.

Mon, 04 Jul 2005 18:37:55 -0700

After intensive investigation on both the Soviet and US parts, spokespersons
from both space agencies have determined the cause for the accident, which has
placed the station and its res

Airlines running operating systems

Sun, 03 Jul 2005 02:31:54 -0700

Here are some basic descriptions of what may happen if airplanes had different
operating systems running them.

DOS: Everybody pushes it till it glides, then jumps on and lets it

No we won't

Fri, 01 Jul 2005 23:47:54 -0700

At a press conference the Brunettes announce they are going to make a trip to
the Moon. The Redheads speak up "That's been done before, we're going to go to
Mars". The Blondes speak up "

top 10 signs you are a chem engineer:

Tue, 28 Jun 2005 18:16:17 -0700

10.You attempt to explain entropy to strangers at the table
during a casual dinner conversation

9. You explain surface tension to your child when he asks why
you add oil while

Cross the Road

Sun, 26 Jun 2005 20:49:29 -0700

Q: Why did the auditor cross the road?

A: Because he looked in the file and that's what they did last year.