LOL-Jokes.com - seniors

Sex Shop Patron

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 21:23:40 -0700

A little old lady, well into her eighties, slowly enters the
front door of an erotic sex shop. Obviously very unstable on her
feet, she shakily hobbles the few feet across the store to the

Grandpa dies while having sex

Wed, 11 May 2005 20:44:07 -0700

Jenny's grandfather recently died of a heart attack. After the
funeral, she is talking privately with her grandmother. Jenny
asks, "How did it happen"

The grandmother replie

I'm Not Saying You're old...........

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 19:18:59 -0800

I'm not saying you're old but who else...
...has wrinkles on their teeth.
...sprinkles tenderizer on their applesauce.
...has a pterodactyl for a pet.
...remembers when Baskin-

10 Fun Things To Do At a Nursing Home

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 20:16:44 -0800

1.Throw a suprise party for a man turning 90.
2.Feed them pepperoni pizza abd soda at lunch.
3.Start an orge at 8:00 at night.
4.Make them watch Temtaion Island.
5.Give them al

Life is Unfair

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 01:08:42 -0800

There was a guy who really takes care of his body; he lifts
weights and jogs 6 miles everyday.

One morning, looking in his mirror, he noticed he was sun-tanned
all over...with

Bad Hearing

Wed, 20 Oct 2004 08:32:36 -0700

A old man told his doctor, "I don't think my wife's hearing is
as good as it used to be. What should I do?"

The doctor replied, "Try this test first. When your wife is at
the

Titanium Legs

Thu, 23 Sep 2004 12:16:07 -0700

There was an old lady with titanium legs walking down the beach
on her 100th birthday. She walked by a surfer guy and said "
I've never been fucked in my entire life, will you fuck me?" th

old lady says "f*ck"

Sun, 25 Jul 2004 05:59:30 -0700

How do you get an 80 year old lady to say "fuck"?

Get another 80 year old lady to yell "Bingo"

The Flasher

Sat, 24 Jul 2004 11:16:42 -0700

One day two old ladys were sitting on a bench at the town park
when a flasher walks up and flashes them. One old lady has a
stroke, but the other one can't reach!

Signs-You're Older Than You Thought

Sat, 26 Jun 2004 04:15:00 -0700

- You can live without sex but not without glasses.

- Your back goes out more than you do.

- You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks
into the room.

Wise Old Gentleman vs. Noisy Kids

Sat, 12 Jun 2004 16:46:33 -0700

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a
junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his
retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year
be

Old Man's Sex Drive

Sat, 17 Apr 2004 02:43:09 -0700

An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks him to help revive
her husband's sex drive. "How about trying Viagra?" suggests the
doctor. "Not a chance," she replies. "He won't even take an

25th Anniversary

Mon, 29 Mar 2004 13:56:41 -0800

A man and his wife got to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th
Anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25
years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my

Thursday

Sat, 20 Mar 2004 02:42:39 -0800

A true story,

A friend of mine and I went into a Wal-Mart and my friend took a
box of condoms from the pharmacy and put them in an old man's
cart. When the man turned around a

Two Old Women

Sat, 21 Feb 2004 22:24:57 -0800

Two old ladies were chatting one day. They were talking about
this and that and the subject finally got around to sex. The
first old lady said she enjoyed sex now just as much as ever.