LOL-Jokes.com - thoughts

If corn oil comes from

Sat, 09 Jul 2005 00:13:08 -0700

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from? If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box? When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose? Why do th

Why doesn't Tarzan have a

Sat, 18 Jun 2005 12:19:27 -0700

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? Since light travels faster

When I'm not in my

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 20:13:27 -0700

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. I intend to live forever -- so far, so good! Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire. Ambi

If pro is the opposite

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 17:07:49 -0700

If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress? Why does "cleave" mean both split apart and stick together? Why is it, whether you sit up or sit down, the result i

If the shoe fits, get

Wed, 04 May 2005 01:36:06 -0700

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.What's another word for thesaurus? What would we have called the color orange if it wasn't a fruit? After eating, do amphibians h

If the #2 pencil is

Mon, 18 Apr 2005 08:39:38 -0700

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons? If

How come abbreviated is such

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 19:10:26 -0700

How come abbreviated is such a long word? Why are there 5 sylables in the word "monosylabic"? If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how col

Growing old is mandatory, but

Wed, 23 Mar 2005 22:08:21 -0800

Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we're already there? If a mute

Shin: A device for

Mon, 20 Dec 2004 05:51:37 -0800

Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.When you're swimming in the creek, and an eel bites your cheek, tha

What happens to the holes

Tue, 14 Dec 2004 21:32:24 -0800

What happens to the holes when all the cheese has been eaten? If you put orange juice in the freezer it becomes frozen, then why when you squeeze an orange doesn't it become squozen? W

JET

Tue, 23 Nov 2004 22:57:08 -0800

What is pink, flies and has a helmet? Apig flying a jet fighter wereing a helmet!

Light travels faster than sound.

Sat, 23 Oct 2004 06:03:01 -0700

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs? When you ope

Why Isn't there mouse-flavored cat

Mon, 18 Oct 2004 16:26:36 -0700

Why Isn't there mouse-flavored cat food? Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.Give a ma

If you tied buttered toast

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 21:00:33 -0700

If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen? If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

How can there be self-help

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 07:24:08 -0700

How can there be self-help "groups"? If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi? If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap? If someon