LOL-Jokes.com - math

Math one-liner

Wed, 10 Aug 2005 10:09:38 -0700

Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences.

Equal positive integers

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 01:10:47 -0700

Theorem: All positive integers are equal.Proof: Sufficient to show that for any two positive integers, A and B, A = B.Further, it is sufficient to show that for all N > 0, if A and B (

Math one-liner

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 23:15:28 -0700

If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my statistics class: it would seem so much longer.

Dollars equal cents

Mon, 23 May 2005 00:04:10 -0700

Theorem: 1$ = 1c.Proof:And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.1$ = 100c= (10c)^2= (0.1$)^2= 0.01$= 1cHere $ means dollars and c means cents. T

Mathematical baby formula

Sun, 01 May 2005 09:26:29 -0700

Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and multiply.

Statistical one-liner

Wed, 06 Apr 2005 21:18:24 -0700

Q: How do you tell one bathroom full of statisticians from another?A: Check the p-value.

Log negative one zero

Sat, 12 Mar 2005 10:47:07 -0800

Theorem: log(-1) = 0Proof:a. log[(-1)^2] = 2 * log(-1)On the other hand:b. log[(-1)^2] = log(1) = 0Combining a) and b) gives:2* log(-1) = 0Divide both sides by 2:

Statistical one-liner

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 06:33:01 -0800

Q: How many statisticians does it take to change a lightbulb?A: 1-3, alpha = .05

One is negative one

Sun, 05 Dec 2004 12:58:46 -0800

Theorem: 1 = -1Proof:1 = sqrt(1) = sqrt(-1 * -1) = sqrt(-1) * sqrt(-1) = 1^ = -1Also one can disprove the axiom that things equal to the same thing are equal to each other.1 =

Statistical one-liner

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 12:44:21 -0800

Old statisticians never die, they just undergo a transformation.

Untitled joke

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 08:03:47 -0700

How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

In earlier work, Wiener [1] has shown that one mathematician can change a light bulb.
If k mathematicians can chan

PROOF THAT ALL ODD NUMBERS ARE PRIME

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 04:50:57 -0700

Mathmatician -- 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, the rest follows by induction.

Statistician -- 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is expermental error so throw i

Math is turning bad

Sat, 28 Aug 2004 02:41:13 -0700

"Psst, c'mere," said the shifty-eyed man wearing a long black trenchcoat, as he beckoned me off the rainy street into a damp dark alley. I followed."What are you selling?" I asked."Ge

Reducing travel risk

Sun, 01 Aug 2004 01:03:55 -0700

There was this statistics student who, when driving his car, would always accelerate hard before coming to any junction, whizz straight over it , then slow down again once he'd got over it. One day, h

Proof E equal to one

Sun, 18 Jul 2004 18:56:17 -0700

Theorem: e=1Proof:2*e = f2^(2*pi*i)e^(2*pi*i) = f^(2*pi*i)e^(2*pi*i) = 1Therefore:2^(2*pi*i) = f^(2*pi*i)2=fThus:e=1