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Just thousands of funny jokes

the battle of the sexes

If you want a nice man go for a bald one....

Submitted by Yi on Sun, the 30th of November, 2003, 1:41 am

If you want a nice man go for a bald one. They try harder.

What should you give a man who has everything?...

Submitted by Dianthus W on Thu, the 26th of August, 2004, 1:34 pm

What should you give a man who has everything? - A woman to show him how to work it.

There are 3 stages of sex after marriage....

Submitted by math jokes on Mon, the 29th of March, 2004, 7:13 am

There are 3 stages of sex after marriage. The first stage is the " Anywhere " stage, when you'll do it anywhere - the kitchen table, the shower, on top of the washing machine during the spin cycle.

The second stage...

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Time: Early Sixties. Place: Yourtown, USA...

Submitted by wierdo on Thu, the 22nd of April, 2004, 2:01 pm

Time: Early Sixties. Place: Yourtown, USA

A young unmarried couple decides after a few dates that they are going to sleep together. So, the guy, Tom, goes to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms.

Tom goes up to the pharmacy counter and asks the pharmacist for some Trojans, ( just like the kid in Summer of ' 4 2 ). The pharmacist looks at Tom disgustedly and says, " What's wrong with you kids today, ya go on two dates and you wanna go to bed with each other. Why can't ya save sex for when ya get married. You should wait until you're married! Sex before marriage is a sin ya know.

Well Tom calmed down the pharmacist and explained that his generation was a...

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My wife says I never listen to her....

Submitted by Jamie on Sun, the 31st of August, 2003, 6:37 pm

My wife says I never listen to her.

At least I think that's what she said.

What do you call a lesbian with two girlfriends?...

Submitted by Vanessa E Saunders on Sun, the 2nd of March, 2003, 5:22 pm

What do you call a lesbian with two girlfriends? A " Bush Hog.

A country girlhad just moved to the city and...

Submitted by Evangeline Serrano on Sat, the 27th of September, 2003, 9:32 am

A country girlhad just moved to the city and was invited to a dance, but she couldn't dance, so she asked a friend what she was going to do if someone asked her to dance. Her friend told her to tell them that she was contemplating matrimony and I think I...

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"I want a divorce!" boomed the loud Texas...

Submitted by Prosthetic Head on Sun, the 12th of August, 2001, 8:23 am

" I want a divorce! boomed the loud Texas oilman. " That wife of mine ain't acting right "

" Well J. P., said the lawyer...

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What does it mean when a man is in your bed...

Submitted by Collin d Cortez on Tue, the 3rd of April, 2001, 1:53 pm

What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? - You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.

Mary had a little lamb...

Submitted by Belle on Sun, the 6th of July, 2003, 3:15 pm

Mary had a little lamb
with which she used to sleep
too late she found it was a ram
and now she has a little lamb

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