If you want a nice man go for a bald one. They try harder.
the battle of the sexes
What should you give a man who has everything? - A woman to show him how to work it.
There are 3 stages of sex after marriage. The first stage is the " Anywhere " stage, when you'll do it anywhere - the kitchen table, the shower, on top of the washing machine during the spin cycle.
The second stage...Read more
Time: Early Sixties. Place: Yourtown, USA
A young unmarried couple decides after a few dates that they are going to sleep together. So, the guy, Tom, goes to the local pharmacy to buy some condoms.
Tom goes up to the pharmacy counter and asks the pharmacist for some Trojans, ( just like the kid in Summer of ' 4 2 ). The pharmacist looks at Tom disgustedly and says, " What's wrong with you kids today, ya go on two dates and you wanna go to bed with each other. Why can't ya save sex for when ya get married. You should wait until you're married! Sex before marriage is a sin ya know.
Well Tom calmed down the pharmacist and explained that his generation was a...Read more
My wife says I never listen to her.
At least I think that's what she said.
What do you call a lesbian with two girlfriends? A " Bush Hog.
A country girlhad just moved to the city and was invited to a dance, but she couldn't dance, so she asked a friend what she was going to do if someone asked her to dance. Her friend told her to tell them that she was contemplating matrimony and I think I...Read more
" I want a divorce! boomed the loud Texas oilman. " That wife of mine ain't acting right "
" Well J. P., said the lawyer...Read more
What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? - You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Mary had a little lamb
with which she used to sleep
too late she found it was a ram
and now she has a little lamb