A woman walked into her kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly-swatter in his hand. \"What are you doing?\" she asked.
\"Hunting flies,\" he whispered.
\"Oh! Good. Killin

How are men like UFOs?

You don't know where they come from, what their mission is, or what time they're going to take off.

Q. What's the smartest thing ever to come out of a woman's mouth????
A. Albert Einstein's dick.

* Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. * Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss to increase his salary.

Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the nee

I walked into the living room the other day and caught my dad screwing my mum's purse.

So I said to him, "What are you doing, dad?"

He replies, "Well son, I've always wanted to come

A young girl of 12 gets up in the middle of the night for a glass of water.
Hearing muffled noises coming from her parents room, she quietly peeks her

head in. She's been very curious a

A man came home from work sporting two black eyes.

"What happened to you?" asked his wife.

"I'll never understand women," he replied. "I was riding up in an escalator behind this pre

Q. What do you call a Playboy centerfold that is a lesbian?
A. Bitch.

Q. Why do women have periods?
A. Because they deserve them.