Just thousands of funny jokes


How do you get your wife mad?

Submitted by If Amblue on Sun, the 23rd of March, 2003, 5:16 am

How do you get your wife mad?

Call her up and tell her were you are.

( category: religion -> other )

Scream My Name

Submitted by Nick K Rogers on Tue, the 8th of May, 2001, 6:39 pm

God asked Moses to create a mate for Adam so he said ok. First he ask God
how many nerve endigs in the hand and he said say as Adam and in the feet
same as Adam but in the face he gave the women...

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( category: religion -> other )

The Sermon

Submitted by britt conrado on Fri, the 11th of April, 2003, 7:25 am

There once were these two women who sat in the back of the
church every Sunday for church service and they always talked
for the whole hour and a half. So one day when the two women
were not around the congregation and the preacher got together
and deviced a plan to make the women stop talking during church.
The preacher said, " While we are singing the first hymn...

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( category: religion -> other )

What's the difference?

Submitted by Silentrose on Wed, the 20th of June, 2001, 7:52 am

What's the difference between a picture of Jesus, and Jesus in person?

It only takes one nail to hang the picture!

( category: religion -> other )

God's name

Submitted by chips on Tue, the 20th of November, 2001, 4:04 pm

What is god's name?

It's Harold of course. He told everyone. He said Harold be thy name.

( category: religion -> other )

The Spare Commandments

Submitted by L H D on Sat, the 10th of August, 2002, 10:10 pm

One day God was cleaning out his kitchen, when he stumbled on three spare
Commandments. He had no use for them, being the conservational type,
decided to find someone who would have a use for them.

God floated down to Egypt, and he said to the Pharoah, " Hello, Pharoah! I
was wondering if you needed three spare Commandments that I found lying
around my house. I have no need for them. " Thanks but no thanks, said
the Pharoah, " we've got no need for any Commandments. We're too busy
building pyramids.

Frustrated, God floated over to Rome, and he said to the Consul, " Hello,
Consul! I...

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( category: religion -> other )

The Ark

Submitted by Chelsea Wilson on Tue, the 4th of March, 2003, 4:08 am

Question: How many of each animal did Moses bring onto the ark?

Answer: Moses? Noah was the one with the animals

( category: religion -> other )

Adam & Eve

Submitted by Matt Reed on Fri, the 27th of October, 2000, 9:44 am

Why was Adam's first day so long?

There was no Eve

( category: religion -> other )

Rules of the Church

Submitted by alison l connolly on Sat, the 1st of February, 2003, 2:16 am

As you may or may not know, the Catholic church used to have a rule that
when a woman went to church on Sundays, she should wear a hat to show
respect to God.

It was during these days that a stripper felt all alone in the world. She
needed some guidance. She knew that she needed God. It just so happened
that there were some churches across the street from her. So she went into
the first one. It was a Baptist church. They wouldn't even see her.
Neither would the Presbyterian church next door. Feeling more alone,
confused, and distraught than before, she tried her last...

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( category: religion -> other )


Submitted by Nicole disclosed information on Sun, the 27th of February, 2005, 9:00 pm

A little old lady gets onto a crowded bus and stands in front of a seated
young girl. Holding her hand to her chest, she says to the girl, " If you
knew what I have, you would give me your seat. The girl gets up and gives
up the seat.

The girl then takes out a fan and fans herself. The woman looks up and
says, " If you knew what I have, you would give me that fan. The girl
gives her the fan.

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( category: religion -> other )
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