A Jewish lawyer was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it. "I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him.

Tragically, three friends die in a car crash, and they find themselves at the gates of heaven. Before entering, they are each asked a question by St. Peter.
"When you are in your casket and frien

A Sunday school teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because p

What did Eve had to admit when she was told by a snake that she was naked? That she got 6 bucks to take it off for a dog. (Dog=god) She was just so ugly.

The Virgin Mary was so hard up t

Moses and Jesus were in a threesome playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. The ball landed in the fairway, but rolled directly toward a water hazard. Quickly Moses rais

Col. Saunders was lying on his death bed and asked to have the Pope visit
him.
It was explained that the pope is a very busy man and that he did not make
such visits.
Col Saund

Offerings had been down the past several Sundays and the preacher
decided he had to do something to change the trend. The next Sunday, as
the plate was being passed he said...

"Brothe

The ship was going down. The captain and the crew were trying - in the middle of a terrible mid-Atlantic winter storm - to get the lifeboat out. "We can hope for nothing but Divine intervention," crie

When Nuns are admitted to Heaven they go through a special gate and are
expected to make one last confession before they become angels.
Several nuns are lined up at this gate waiting to

Taoism: Shit happens.
Buddhism: If shit happens, it's not really shit.
Islam: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah
Protestantism: Shit happens because you don't work hard enoug