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jews

Jewish Grandmother

Submitted by Herb E Handcock on Thu, the 5th of April, 2001, 8:39 am

A Jewish grandmother went to go visit her daughter in Florida
one day. When the woman saw her five year old grandson, she knew
he was absolutely the most adorable child in the state of
Florida. So she took him out, bought him a little sailor outfit
with the cute little hat and shoes and took him down to the
beach. There, she walked him up and down the shore, bragging and
announcing proudly, " Oh yes, this is my grandson! Etc. Well,
the little boy went to go play in the sand, and all of a sudden,
this big wave...

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( category: religion -> jews )

Dialogue while Moses is at the top of Sinai....

Submitted by Mindy L Haag on Wed, the 7th of May, 2003, 10:20 pm

God: And remember Moses, in the laws of keeping Kosher, never
cook a calf in its mother's milk. It is cruel.

Moses: Ohhhhhh! So you are saying we should never eat milk and
meat together.

G: No, what I'm saying is, never cook a calf in its mother's
milk.

M: Oh, Lord forgive my ignorance! What you are really saying is
we should wait six hours after eating meat to eat milk so the...

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( category: religion -> jews )

Dancing

Submitted by VieTAnGeL on Wed, the 4th of August, 2004, 5:35 pm

A couple preparing for a religious conversion meets with the
orthodox rabbi for their final session. The rabbi asks if they
have any final questions.

The man asks, " Is it true that men and women don't dance
together?

" Yes, says the rabbi. " For modesty reasons, men and women dance
separately.

" So I can't dance with my own wife?

" No.

" Well, what about sex? asks the man.

" Fine, says...

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( category: religion -> jews )

Jews vs. Canoes

Submitted by Adam E Hinkhouse on Wed, the 15th of May, 2002, 8:55 am

Whats the difference between a Jew and a Canoe?

Canoes tip.

( category: religion -> jews )

Diamonds

Submitted by Alisha Cook on Sun, the 3rd of June, 2001, 10:53 pm

What's the difference between a Jewish American Princess and an
Italian American Princess?
With an Italian American Princess, the diamonds are fake and the
orgasms are real.

( category: religion -> jews )

Jews Are The Cutting Edge!lol

Submitted by Candii on Mon, the 24th of February, 2003, 6:19 am

Once there was a little boy called sekket who was Jewish,
and wouldn't play with anyone but the Christian boy, called
Tom, who lived next door.
One day Tom was showing Sekket his toys when he picked up his
toy truck, to show him.
" Wow that's nice! Sekket said
" Yes mummy says to treasure my toys " He answered.
The next day over the garden fence Sekket saw Tom sprinkling
Holy water over his toy...

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( category: religion -> jews )

Hitler On His Death Bed

Submitted by Peter B Wilson on Mon, the 30th of July, 2001, 4:56 am

Hitler is lying on his death bed and he asks his top advisor,
" Why did we lose the war? His top advisor responds, " Well sir
it was because of all...

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( category: religion -> jews )

Blood Tells

Submitted by Kent O Smith on Wed, the 9th of February, 2005, 7:55 pm

The teacher said, " I'll give $ 2 0 to the child who can tell me
who was the most famous man who ever lived.

An Irish boy put his hand up and said, " It was St. Patrick. The
teacher said, " Sorry Sean, that's not correct.

Then a French boy put his hand up and said, " It was Napoleon.
The teacher replied, " I'm sorry, Pierre, that's not right
either....

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( category: religion -> jews )

90's Rabbi Student

Submitted by Donald Peckover on Sun, the 30th of June, 2002, 12:59 am

Little Sammy was studying Torah for his Bar Mitzvah and was asked what he
had learned in Hebrew school one day. " Well, mommy, the rabbi told us how
God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the
Israelites out of Egypt. When they got to the Red Sea, he had his
engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the Jews...

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( category: religion -> jews )

The Jewish CIA

Submitted by Katie F on Thu, the 16th of May, 2002, 7:40 pm

President Bush, newly elected, calls in the head of the CIA and
asks, " How come the Jews know everything before WE do?

The CIA chief says, " It's because the Jews have this expression,
' Vus Tutzuch? ( What's doing? ' They just ask each other and they
know everything! "

George Bush says that he has to see it to believe it, and he
wants to personally go undercover.
...

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( category: religion -> jews )
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