1. Walk into a church. Sit for about 5 min. into servce.
Stand up and say "Oh Sh*t This Isn't The F*cking Wedding". Then
walk out.
2. Go over to a criing baby and say to the pa

TAOISM: Shit happens.

CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "Shit happens".

ZEN: (What is the sound of shit happening?)

JESUITISM: If shit happens and when nobody is watc

A young man concludes that the religious life is for him.
Accordingly he joins an order with a strict vow of silence.
There is one exception to the rule however. Every ten years each

There once was a cannibal that was very hungry. He went to the
local convent and got a monk. He went back to his house and
boiled the monk. He started eating it, and he tasted terrible.

A man is ready to enter the pearly white gates of heaven and St.
Peter asks, "Religion?"

The man answers, "Muslim."

St. Peter replies, "ok, go to room 23 but be quiet a

So the Zen master steps up to the hot dog cart and says, "Make
me one with everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen
master, who pays with a $20

One say this guy was sky diving. When the man went to
pull the rip cord and it wouldnt open. The man was terrified for
his life. So he yelled,"Oh Buddah, save me". So Buddah stuck

The minister of a church said to four monks "All of you can have
a week off, but make sure to tell me your sins in the week."
After a week, the four monks come back. They line up. The

There's a big hill. On one side of this hill sits a monastery,
on the other side there is a convent. In the middle, on top of
the hill, there is a pub.

One day the monks decid

A man worked at a gas station out in the middle of no where.
One
day when he was driving home from work and he ran out of gas
(how ironic). So the man walks and walks and eventu