Just thousands of funny jokes



Submitted by lily lily on Sun, the 30th of January, 2005, 5:57 am

what's the definition of painfull
a fly going down a razor blade using its balls as breaks

what's the definition of stupid
lobing a brick through someones window and asking for it back

what's the definition of stupid 2
pissing through a window and asking how far it went

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( category: news & politics -> other )

The two Gay Guys

Submitted by Craig on Fri, the 16th of April, 2004, 1:39 pm

Ok.. There are these to gay guys fucking eachother up the ass
and one guy says " dont cum until i come back " so he goes to get
a pizza and he...

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( category: news & politics -> other )

New Yorkers

Submitted by Matt Mcmillion on Sat, the 17th of August, 2002, 1:12 am

According to a recent poll, half of New Yorkers say that they
would never move out of the city, mostly because their probation
won't allow it.

( category: news & politics -> other )

Bobbitt Hillbillies Song

Submitted by Lucky_gurl13 on Tue, the 23rd of October, 2001, 4:41 am

( Sung to the tune from ' Beverly Hillbillies' )

Come and listen to my story ' bout a man named John.
A poor Ex-Marine with a little fraction gone
It seems one night after getting with the wife
She lopped off his dong with the swipe of a knife.

Penis, that is.
Clean cut.
Missed his nuts.

Well, the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side
And Lorena's in the car taking Willie for a ride
She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend
And tossed him out the window as she came around a bend

Curve, that is
Tossed the nub.
In the shrub.

She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
And they called out the hounds just to get his Weenie back
They sniffed and they barked and...

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( category: news & politics -> other )

Happy Rabbit

Submitted by Alex Martin on Tue, the 15th of May, 2001, 12:22 am

A little rabbit is happily running through the forest when he
stumbles upon a giraffe rolling a joint. The rabbit looks at her
and says, " Giraffe my friend, why do you do this? Come with me
running through the forest, you'll see, you'll feel so much
better! The giraffe looks at him, looks at the joint, tosses it
and goes off running with the rabbit.

Then they come across an elephant doing coke, so the rabbit
again says, " Elephant my friend, why do you do this? Think about
your health. Come running with us through the pretty forest,
you'll see, you'll feel so good! The elephant looks at them,
looks at his razor, mirror and all, then tosses them and starts...

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( category: news & politics -> other )

Anti-War Slogans

Submitted by Dete on Wed, the 17th of July, 2002, 3:22 pm

Draft The Bush Twins

Don't Mess With Mesopotamia

War Is SO 2 0 th Century

When Bush Comes To Shove

Brains Not Bombs

War Is A Dick Thing, Peace Is A Heart Thing

George Dubya: Weapon Of Mass Distraction

Beat The Bushes For Peace

Weapons Of Mass Destruction: Look Under The Bushes

Drop Bush, Not Bombs

Bombing For Peace Is Like F * cking For Virginity

Evolve! Work For A Non-violent Future

If War Is The Answer, We're Asking The Wrong Question

Killing Innocent People Is The Problem, Not The Solution

Save America, Spare Iraq, Make Texas Take Him Back

Real Patriots Drive Hybrids

Drop Names, Not Bombs

Who Would Jesus Bomb?

Stop Mad Cowboy Disease

George Bush Couldn't Run A Laundromat

Bush Is A Servant Of Sauron. We Hates Him!

Make Love, Not W

There Is No Path To Peace - Peace IS The Path

Justice, Or Just Us?

Sorry, Dubya - Have A Pretzel Instead

Pretzel - It Does A Country Good

Tame The Tyrant In The Mirror, Then The One In Iraq

Cheney, Bush, Rumsfeld: Axis Of Weasel

Go Solar, Not Ballistic

Faster Trains, Not Planes

Nonviolence, Not Nonexistence

A Village In Texas Has Lost Its Idiot

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( category: news & politics -> other )

Bombing away Terrorism

Submitted by J S M on Sun, the 6th of April, 2003, 12:27 pm

By Terry Jones ( of Monty Python )
February 2 0, 2 0 0 2
Times Observer

To prevent terrorism by dropping bombs on Iraq is such an obvious idea that I can't think why no one has thought of it before. It's so simple. If only the UK had done something similar in Northern Ireland, we wouldn't be in the mess we are in today. The moment the IRA blew up the Horseguards' bandstand, the Government should have declared its own War on Terrorism. It should have immediately demanded that the Irish government hand over Gerry Adams. If they refused to do so - or quibbled about needing proof of his guilt - we could have told them that this was no time for prevarication and that they must hand over not only Adams but all IRA terrorists in the Republic. If they tried to stall by claiming that it was hard to tell who were IRA terrorists and who weren't, because they don't go around wearing identity badges, we would have been free to send in the bombers.

It is well known that the best way of picking out terrorists is to fly 3 0, 0 0 ft above the capital city of any state that harbours them and drop bombs - preferably cluster bombs. It is conceivable that the bombing of Dublin might have provoked some sort of protest, even if just from James Joyce fans, and there is at least some likelihood of increased anti-British sentiment in what remained of the city and thus a rise in the numbers of potential terrorists. But this, in itself, would have justified the tactic of bombing them in the first place. We would have nipped them in the bud, so to speak. I hope you follow the argument.

Having bombed Dublin and, perhaps, a few IRA training bogs in Tipperary, we could not have afforded to be complacent. We would have had to turn our attention to those states which had supported and funded the IRA terrorists through all these years. The main provider of funds was, of course, the USA, and this would have posed us with a bit of a problem. Where to bomb in America? It's a big place and it's by no means certain that...

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( category: news & politics -> other )

Dude, Where's My War?

Submitted by Jenks on Thu, the 25th of April, 2002, 7:43 am

Note: Our " Send this Joke to A Friend " email thingy doesn't transmit pictures. But if you see this in email, you can click on the link above!

( category: news & politics -> other )

Homeland Security Poster (kinda scary, really)

Submitted by Eastieboy on Fri, the 20th of July, 2001, 9:40 am

Note: Our " Send this Joke to A Friend " email thingy doesn't transmit pictures. But if you see this in email, you can click on the link above!

( category: news & politics -> other )

Bush's Domestic Agenda

Submitted by Vikie Brighton on Sat, the 11th of May, 2002, 2:01 pm

" In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies, housing, education anything that's needed. Isn't that amazing? He finally comes up with a...

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( category: news & politics -> other )
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