1. Pretend you are saving the seat next to you for your
invisible friend, and if anyone tries to sit on the seat,
scream, "Don't sit on Jake!"
2. When someone tries to get on the bus

Some excerpts from the Quarterly Review of Doublespeak

(NCTE)

A reader reports that when the patient died, the attending doctor recorded the following on the patient's chart: "P

Approximate time it would take you to drop from the top of Mount Everest: 2 1/2 minutes from the top of the Empire State Building: 10 seconds from the top of the Great Pyramid in Gi

1. The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez oil spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were released back into the wild a

This is NOT a true story, but it's a good read. . .A lady in a faded gingham dress and her husband, dressed in a homespun threadbare suit, stepped off the train in Boston, and walked timid

Jon Snow: "In a sense, Deng Xiaoping's death was inevitable, wasn't it?"

Expert: "Er, yes."

(Channel 4 News)

"As Phil De Glanville said, each game is unique, an

12> How would you like to go live to the scene of the action?11> Can I buy you a dink? Wait -- I'm sorry. Hey, Harry, will you please fix that damn cue card?!?10> Would you like to go back to my place

British Left Waffles on Falkland islands Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms Eye Drops off Shelf Teacher Strikes Idle Kids Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

A guy farted in a elevator. He took out an air freshner. Another
guy got on the elevator. The first guy asked" What do you think
of the smell?" The second guy anwsered," It smells like som

There was a man who computed his taxes for 1997 & found that he owed $3407.He packaged up his payment & included this letter:Dear IRS:Enclosed is my 1997 Tax Return & payment. Please t