From the Honolulu Advertiser more than 20 years ago as printed
in Ann Landers, Sunday, April 7, 1996, (slightly rephrased):

Senators William B. Spong of Virginia and Hiram Fong of Hawaii
s

The FBI released more formerly classified files. Among
15,000 pages newly available to the public were in-depth reports on
organized crime and anti-communist groups an several Victoria's Secret
catal

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, much like the brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.

The slowest buffalo are the sick and weak so they die

In Elyria, Ohio, in October, Martyn Eskins, attempting to clean out
cobwebs in his basement, declined to use a broom in favor of a propane
torch and caused a fire that burned the first and

In a Tokyo shop:

Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only said his famous "One Small Step for Man, One Giant Leap for Mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks -

You are so stupid your mom told you to go and buy a color t.v., and you came back and asked what color.

TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX

10) You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.

9) If you get tired, you can wait 10 minut

The Roslin lab in Scotland is scheduled for a government budget cut.
"But that won't have much effect," says Michael X. Ferraro. "Once
you've cloned sheep, it's not that difficult to coun

-Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

-It's a dog eat dog world out there. And they're short on napkins.

-Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.