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travel / vacation

Orange

Submitted by Jimmy Liu on Mon, the 4th of April, 2005, 10:47 am

Why did the orange go to Yukon?

Beacause Florida was too hot and had a hurricane

( category: misc -> travel / vacation )

Things that can go wrong on an airplane

Submitted by Jake r grumbeck on Wed, the 8th of December, 2004, 2:46 am

My friend and I used to joke about all that could happen wrong
when we traveled together.

1 ) I fart and the oxagen masks fly down

2 ) I fart and burn a whole through...

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( category: misc -> travel / vacation )

Big Cigar

Submitted by matt stallramp on Wed, the 18th of February, 2004, 7:52 pm

One day there was a newly wed couple driving down the highway. Two truck
drivers were also driving down that same highway. The passenger in the
truck said " I have to take a shit! " We're not stopping! said the driver....

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( category: misc -> travel / vacation )

Friendly Hawaii

Submitted by Chewbadoo on Fri, the 20th of August, 2004, 6:33 pm

Why are Hawaiians considered to be so friendly?

They can hardly wait until you get off the plane to give you a lei.

( category: misc -> travel / vacation )

Vacation

Submitted by Pappy Smear on Mon, the 19th of February, 2001, 7:37 am

Santa Clause, The Easter Bunny, and a Lepercon all go on a
vacation. They are all drivin in the car when they all have to
go to the bathroom so they pull over at this hotel. They all go
inside and the Lepercon asked the secritary when the bathroom
is.
The Secretary says it's down the hall and to the left, but it's
haunted. But the Lepercon really has to go so he does anyway. So
he go's into the bathroom. Then all of a sudden a ghost pops out
of nowhere and says I'm the ghost say's " I'm the ghost of
Lamborgini I'll cut off your balls and eat your...

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( category: misc -> travel / vacation )

Picking your ass?

Submitted by Ivan Borka on Tue, the 19th of September, 2000, 10:08 am

This is a true story that actually happened to me.

I was on a field trip to New York City with my friend Emmanuel. We were on
one of those nicer buses with the bucket seats. During the ride we would
complain to each other if one of us were over in...

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( category: misc -> travel / vacation )

Trip to Newfoundland

Submitted by Teresa L Strack on Fri, the 25th of October, 2002, 5:20 am

HALIFAX TO GANDER
1 2 DAYS - 4 NIGHTS
JAN. 2 1 - FEB. 3 0
Itinerary

1 st Day: Leave Halifax International Airport 4: 5 am. All passengers
travel first class aboard Air Newf's Uni-Engine Jumbo Jet.
2 nd day: In Air
3 rd day: In Air
4 th day: In Air
5 th day: Arrive Gander 9: 0 pm and on to Gander Curling Club, 3 rd floor,
basement annex for box dinner of clam chowder and soda crackers.
6 th day: After breakfast, complete city tour of gander, 9: 0 am- 9: 0 am.
Free time for shop lifting followed by a fabulous 9 - course meal
consisting of: Rabbit Soup, One Seal Flipper Pie, Cod Bits and a
Six-pack...

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( category: misc -> travel / vacation )

I am NEVER flying again!

Submitted by cUtEeWiTaBoOtY05 on Mon, the 16th of December, 2002, 4:47 am

1 0. " We have a lost child at gate D- 4, the bidding will start
at twenty dollars.

9. " I'm sorry madam, but we cannot allow you to bring your cat
on board. We don't yet know the effects of high radiation on our
feline friends. And we are required to check your bags.

8. " Yes sir, we are aware of the biohazard tag on your luggage
and no, you don't want to know it's origin. I recommend you
refrain from opening your suitcase.

7. " Yes sir, importing Cuban cigars is illegal, that is why the
security officer had to confiscate them. What? He's smoking
them? HEY! YOU RAT! SAVE SOME FOR ME!

6. " I'm sorry madam, but our insurance policy does not cover
punctures in your bags caused by our checking attendants. No it
also does not cover airline crashes. It does cover explosions...

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( category: misc -> travel / vacation )

Tramp's Car

Submitted by bob pope on Sat, the 7th of July, 2001, 10:15 pm

There was a poor man who lived on the street, and one day he won
1 0 million pounds on the lottery. The first thing he did was to
go and buy a Rolls-Royce. Feeling happy, he was driving down the
motorway in his new car when a police car drove past.

The policeman looked at the car, then looked at the driver.
Since the car was the first thing the tramp had bought, and he
hadn't yet got around to buying some smart clothes, he still
looked like a tramp. The policeman noticed this and pulled him
over onto the hard shoulder.

" You don't look like the sort of person who could afford such a
great car, said the policeman. " I have a strong suspicion that
you stole it.

" No, replied the tramp, " it's my car.

" Get out of the car, said the policeman. The tramp obliged. The
policeman took a piece of chalk out of his pocket and drew a
circle on the road, a few metres from the car.

" Right, I want you to stand in that chalk circle and don't move
from there. I want you to admit that this isn't your car.

" Officer, It IS my own car.

" If you don't admit to having stolen it, I'm going to scratch
the paintwork.

The tramp didn't say anything, so the policeman turned around,
took his keys out of his pocket and proceeded to gauge deep
scratches in the paintwork all around the car. He looked at the...

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( category: misc -> travel / vacation )

hell

Submitted by Steven on Sat, the 15th of June, 2002, 10:47 am

A man goes to hell and is very upset and is crying.
The devil approaches him and says that hell is not such a bad
place
" Hell's ok " And the devil says " When you were alive did you
like women?
The man replies " Loved them, they are great!
" Well, you are going to love Monday's, you can have any women
and as many as you like " says the devil.
" What about drinking, alchol? says the devil.
" Well, I had my...

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( category: misc -> travel / vacation )
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