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Just thousands of funny jokes

holidays

The WORST thing that could happen ever

Submitted by Tom Hanks is my love on Wed, the 7th of February, 2001, 2:55 pm

THIS IS A TRUE STORY:
It was spring vacation and my friend wasn't going anywhere. her
mom felt really bad for her so she took her to a spa. she didn't
like that so they dicited to go home early. her mom still felt
sortove bad so she acted like she made a wrong tern and she went
to the beach...

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( category: misc -> holidays )

Gothic Prostitutes and Santa

Submitted by Becky Holland on Mon, the 26th of January, 2004, 3:48 pm

There were three gothic girls walking down the street. Santa
notices and says, Aren't you wearing any bright colors instead
of dark. The girls said, Because we're the THREE GOTHICS
PROSTITUTES! Suddenly, Santa is laughing his head off and then,
his pants fall off...

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( category: misc -> holidays )

Santa Claws

Submitted by pyroguy_3 on Thu, the 20th of December, 2001, 8:32 pm

Who wears red and white and roars like a lion?

Santa Claws.

( category: misc -> holidays )

How Does Santa Do It?

Submitted by Jo Stepin on Fri, the 5th of October, 2001, 2:18 pm

How does Santa get through such a samll chimney into your house?

Santa is an ant

( category: misc -> holidays )

Santa

Submitted by Joseph Feldstein on Wed, the 28th of May, 2003, 3:35 pm

What does a fat man with white beard say to kids?

Ho! Ho! Ho!

( category: misc -> holidays )

The Amazing Crescan

Submitted by Renee D Primmer on Wed, the 14th of May, 2003, 5:25 pm

The Amazing Crescan is going to be putting out an album this Christmas.
It's called, " Your Dreaming of a White Christmas.

( category: misc -> holidays )

Santa Claus, Jolly, Happy and High

Submitted by Gina G on Tue, the 14th of June, 2005, 11:05 pm

One day, an elf in Santa's workshop is busily working when he sees another
elf handing santa a small green bag with a small little-happy-face sticker
on it.

Now, this elf doesn't look like most. He had black hair, a mustache, and a
big pink-fancy car outback instead of the...

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( category: misc -> holidays )

My Christmas Present

Submitted by Nikki R Burr on Tue, the 27th of July, 2004, 5:06 pm

Little Johnny after opening his christmas present is delighted
to see the new train he wanted. He plays with it for hours.
After about 3 hours he screams out, " Hey mom get on the fuckin'
train.
His...

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( category: misc -> holidays )

The Grinch and His Drugs

Submitted by Tiffany A LAng on Sat, the 18th of June, 2005, 7:17 am

The Grinch stole their papers, their bongs, and their pipes
then he looked round the room for some reefers...

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( category: misc -> holidays )

Lifesaving

Submitted by Robert Frecer on Thu, the 21st of June, 2001, 6:37 pm

It is the summer holidays and Jack is at a water camp. The instructor is
teaching the campers life saving in water.

" So what you do is, you jump in after the drowner. Then you haul that
person back in. Remember to put your index and middle finger on the
person's cheek and use your thumb to move. Do side-stroke to the edge.
Jack, I want you and Jill to do...

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( category: misc -> holidays )
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