Top ten way *I'm* spending this valentine's day.

10. Watching "Fatal Attraction" over and over to remind me what I'm not
missing.

9. Trying to dec

'Twas the week after Christmas, and all through the house

Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste

At the holiday parties had gone

Q: What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?A: Crisp Cringle.

Three blondes died and were up talking to St. Peter. He said "I
have one question and if you get it I will let you into heaven."

He asks the first blonde, "What is Easter?" She answ

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but couldn't find one big enough for her family.

She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"

The st

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they were exhausted and went to sleep.
Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend

Twas the night before Christmas,

when all through the house

not a peripheral was stirring,

not even the mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

A little program that lets you choose how to slaughter the Holiday Turkey.Turkey Lurkey (216K)Note: Our "Send this Joke to A

December 14th
Dearest John:

I went to the door today and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. What a delightful gift. I couldn't have been more surprised.

With de

The Grinch stole their papers, their bongs, and their pipes
then he looked round the room for some reefers to swipe
He crawled up the chimney, and scurried away
leaving only seeds an