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food

FOOD

Submitted by Iceman B Kool on Sun, the 19th of December, 2004, 12:45 am

What's the difference between a Triscuit and a lesbian?

One's a snack cracker, and the other's a crack snacker

( category: misc -> food )

CHEESE THAT ISNT YOURS

Submitted by Mike on Sat, the 18th of September, 2004, 12:16 pm

WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISNT YOURS?

NACHO CHEESE

( category: misc -> food )

Crummy Day

Submitted by Lees on Sun, the 15th of February, 2004, 10:21 pm

Why did the cookie go to the hospital?


Because it felt pretty crummy

( category: misc -> food )

Fruit

Submitted by Tyler Reese on Sat, the 6th of October, 2001, 9:01 am

whats yellow and grows on apple trees?

A stupid bananna

( category: misc -> food )

Thin People Don't

Submitted by Jackson Relter on Tue, the 9th of August, 2005, 9:06 pm

By Barbara Florio Graham
From McCall's, June, 1 9 8 3

I read every diet I can get my hands on. I even follow their suggestions. But eventually, inevitably, I always get fat again. Now, at last, I've found The Answer. After living for almost 1 4 years with a man who never gains an ounce no matter what I serve him, I've found out what it is that keeps him thin: He thinks differently. The real difference between fat and thin people is that thin people:

avoid eating popcorn in the movies because it gets their hands greasy;

split a large combination pizza with three friends;

think Oreo cookies are for kids;

nibble cashews one at a time;

think that doughnuts are indigestible;

read books they have to hold with both hands;

become so absorbed in a weekend project they forget to have lunch;

fill the candy dish on their desks with paper clips;

counteract the midafternoon slump with a nap instead of a cinnamon Danish;

exchange the deep-fryer they received for Christmas for a clock-radio;

lose their appetites when they're depressed;

think chocolate Easter bunnies...

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( category: misc -> food )

Food one-liner

Submitted by ron k carmichael on Thu, the 5th of May, 2005, 11:21 pm

A couple of kids tried using pickles for a Ping-Pong game. They had the volley of the Dills

( category: misc -> food )

The family of tomatoes

Submitted by Ms Piggy on Fri, the 7th of November, 2003, 12:18 am

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, " Ketchup!

( category: misc -> food )

Food one-liner

Submitted by Briana L Barbee on Sat, the 25th of August, 2001, 2:30 pm

Sign in restaurant window: " Eat now - Pay waiter.

( category: misc -> food )

Purchasing power of burgers

Submitted by Aaron78102 on Wed, the 11th of February, 2004, 12:44 am

Cologne, May 2 7 dpa - The U. S. dollar is undervalued against the Deutsch-mark based on how many " Big Mac " hamburger sandwiches the two currencies can purchase, said one of Germany's leading institutes.

The Institute of the German Economy ( IW ) in Cologne noted that the popular sandwich by the McDonald's restaurant...

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( category: misc -> food )

Improving fry cooking time

Submitted by funny jokes on Wed, the 16th of March, 2005, 2:00 pm

In January 1 9 9 4, ' The Economist' magazine reported that one of Secretary of Energy Hazel O'Leary's success stories about government research scientists hired out for civilian business uses was the Argonne National Laboratory's helping McDonald's to find a way to speed up french frying. A team...

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( category: misc -> food )
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