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Just thousands of funny jokes

car bumpers

Woman driver and the trees

Submitted by Daniel R Perrault on Fri, the 7th of June, 2002, 2:17 am

A woman driver is heading down the expressway, when all of a sudden the woman sees a tree to her left, a tree to her right, and a tree directly in front of her, so she swerves and hits a guardrail.

Later, a cop arrives and ask her...

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( category: misc -> car bumpers )

Stay in this circle

Submitted by LaxChica Hoy on Sun, the 7th of October, 2001, 2:25 pm

A woman driver bumped into a guy's car and did a fair amount of damage. The male driver asked why she did it, and she replied, " Because I wanted to. That's all the reason I need.

Then the driver said, " You ignorant bitch! Stand in this circle and don't move, then I will mess up your car to teach you a lesson!

He started by hitting it with a bat, but the blonde...

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( category: misc -> car bumpers )

Those who

Submitted by JBanana on Tue, the 6th of January, 2004, 9:16 am

Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.

She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

You have the right to remain silent.... Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you....

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( category: misc -> car bumpers )

"Women who

Submitted by Joke O Joke on Mon, the 13th of December, 2004, 9:47 pm

" Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.

" It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.

" If you don't like the news, go out and make some.

" I Brake For No Apparent Reason.

" When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven...

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( category: misc -> car bumpers )

My karma

Submitted by Chic260LOL on Fri, the 30th of July, 2004, 10:38 pm

My karma ran over your dogma.

I brake for... wait... AAAH! NO BRAKES!!!!!

A fool and his money are a girl's best friend.

I'm not driving fast-just flying low.

Help...

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( category: misc -> car bumpers )

"Lead me

Submitted by Unknown on Tue, the 19th of April, 2005, 6:21 am

" Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.

" I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?

" Happiness is a belt-fed weapon "

" 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
...

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( category: misc -> car bumpers )

If we

Submitted by Glor on Sun, the 9th of May, 2004, 5:42 pm

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

A penny saved is ridiculous....

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( category: misc -> car bumpers )

WANTED: Meaningful

Submitted by gabriel on Sat, the 3rd of August, 2002, 9:44 pm

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

So you're a feminist... Isn't that cute.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

All men are idiots.... I married their king.
...

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( category: misc -> car bumpers )

Ambivalent? Well

Submitted by Harrison Hill on Sat, the 8th of March, 2003, 5:44 pm

Ambivalent? Well yes and no....

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Is it time for your medication or mine?

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted a paycheck

How do I set the laser printer to stun?...

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( category: misc -> car bumpers )

It's not

Submitted by Lauren M on Tue, the 31st of May, 2005, 2:13 pm

It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.

Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer.

Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.

Mediocrity thrives on standardization.

Reality is the only obstacle to happiness.
...

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( category: misc -> car bumpers )
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