Just thousands of funny jokes

bar & drinking

The Secret of Happy Old Man

Submitted by Brandi J Austin on Wed, the 24th of December, 2003, 4:30 pm

A traveller saw a very old man that was also seemingly very
happy. The traveller asked the old man, " You're so old, what's
your secret to staying so happy?

The man replied, " Well, I smoke 6 packs a day as...

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( category: misc -> bar & drinking )

Which Bus?

Submitted by brad j mira on Fri, the 2nd of May, 2003, 2:01 pm

A drunken man gets on the bus late one night, staggers up the
aisle, and sits next to an elderly woman.

She looks the man up and down...

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( category: misc -> bar & drinking )

Pool Party

Submitted by Michael Youngmark on Tue, the 19th of February, 2002, 8:09 am

Once there was a rich dude who owned a huge mansion, lots of
cars, was an alcoholic, and smoked crack. He even had a huge
pool which he filled with hundreds of alligators.

One day he was having a pool party and everyone got drunk and
high. After a while the rich guy stood up on a table and made a
speech. He said, " Anyone who swims across my pool will get my
house. No one jumped in. Then he said, " Anyone who swims across
my pool gets my house and my cars. No one jumped. " Anyone who
swims across my pool gets my house, my cars, alcohol, and my
cars. No one jumped in. " Anyone who swims across my pool gets
my house...

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( category: misc -> bar & drinking )


Submitted by deeze nutz on Sun, the 17th of February, 2002, 12:01 am

Three guys are sitting in a bar, another guy walks in and points
to the guy in the middle and says, " Hey you! I just screwed your
mom and it was soooo great! By then everyone was expecting a
fight. But the guy didn't do nothing. So the Drunk man goes and
sits in the other side of the bar.

1 5 minutes later he comes back and points at the same guy and...

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( category: misc -> bar & drinking )

Not My Drink!

Submitted by Richard Amezquita on Sun, the 19th of October, 2003, 9:33 pm

There's this guy on a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays
like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck
driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just
drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: " Come on man,
I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just
can't see a man crying.

" No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I
fall asleep, and I go late...

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( category: misc -> bar & drinking )

Two guys walk into a bar

Submitted by T E S on Tue, the 13th of February, 2001, 12:37 pm

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one, however, was smart enough to duck.;

( category: misc -> bar & drinking )

A dyslexic walks into a bra...

Submitted by Mallory on Mon, the 6th of December, 2004, 6:41 pm

It'll hit you in a minute

( category: misc -> bar & drinking )

Gay Bar

Submitted by nitrice oxyde on Thu, the 2nd of January, 2003, 8:29 am

Q. What do you call a gay bar with no barstools?

A. A fruit stand

( category: misc -> bar & drinking )


Submitted by Lady Jedi on Fri, the 14th of January, 2005, 4:59 am

It was closing time at the local sports-oriented pub and the only people left there were the bar keep, a drunk, and a gorilla standing in the corner. The barkeep looks at the drunk and said, " Wanna see something neat?

He whistled to the gorilla, the gorilla came over and stood in front of the bar keep. The barkeep lightly tapped the...

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( category: misc -> bar & drinking )

Four Gay men in a Bar

Submitted by Me on Tue, the 6th of November, 2001, 8:34 pm

Q: Four gay men walk in a bar to
have beer they find only on chair. What do...

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( category: misc -> bar & drinking )
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