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Just thousands of funny jokes

irish / british

Cheeky

Submitted by Sunny Girl on Mon, the 12th of April, 2004, 4:05 pm

Who was the first Scottish man?
I don't know
Mac Adam. He He He

Afro Pot noddles

Submitted by Max on Mon, the 27th of November, 2000, 9:18 pm

True stroy this...
Down at the voodoo lounge in Dublin, Ireland at Halloween, if
you dressed up you could get in for free.
Two lads Mark and J were to going down to meet up with their
friends
Mark dressed up with a home made silver madalion made from tin
foil and sixtys clothes and a large afro wig, and J didn't dress
up at all thinking he could get past unseen.
At the entrance to the voodoo lounge J tried to hide in a...

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ouch!

Submitted by fantase on Fri, the 22nd of April, 2005, 10:34 pm

A man walks into a bar

Ouch!

Paddy man?

Submitted by Steph Reddin on Wed, the 12th of June, 2002, 2:35 am

Paddy Irish man, Paddy scotish man and Paddy Fat man where
caught smuggling on a far contry.
As a result they where deserted on a deserted island and all
given the chosse of somthing to bring with them.

MAN; so paddy Irish man what would you like.
PADDY IRISH MAN; A car door.
MAN; Why?
PADDY IRAISH MAN; So I won't dehidrate...

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Irish Jokes

Submitted by Helcias E Galan on Sun, the 26th of December, 2004, 9:12 am

there's an English man an irish man and a scottish bloke. they
all go into a bar, the irish man challenges the other to, to see
who can get their dog the furthest round the block with doing a
crap on the pavement. they agree.
The english man gets a 1 / 4 of the way round the scottish bloke
goes 1 / 2 way round and the irish man goes all the way round
twice.
suprised they ask him how he did it....

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how to confuse a irishman

Submitted by Gennadios M Papapavlou on Sat, the 2nd of September, 2000, 9:06 am

how do you confuse a irishman?

put him in a room full of shovels and tell him to take his pick!

Sandwiches

Submitted by Marvin Tapessur on Sun, the 17th of February, 2002, 1:23 pm

There once was this American, Scottish man, and Irishman who all
used to work together at the same building site, and each day
they would sit out on a steel girder 4 0 floors high and eat
their lunches.

One day the american opens his lunch up and says, " fucken
baloney, I have had it everyday for the past 5 years, and if I
get it again tomorrow, I am gonna jump off this steel girder!!!

The scottish man opens his lunch and says, " bloody lettuce
sandwich, I have had lettuce sandwiches for the past 1 0 years
and I am sick to death of them, if I get lettuce tomorrow I too
am gonna jump off this steel girder ".

The Irish man says, " bloody fucken cheese again, if I fucken get
cheese tomorrow I too am gonna jump!!.



The next day, once again the three men go out and sit on the
girder to eat their lunches.

The american opens up his lunch and says, " fucken baloney again,
fuck that, I have had enough!!!, and with that he...

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Flags

Submitted by Clifton S Barnes on Thu, the 12th of February, 2004, 8:48 am

A Irishman went into a flag shop and asked for a green unionjack.

The guy behind the counter said, " A green unionjack what? We
don't do green unionjacks you fool....

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Irish Idiot

Submitted by Israel A Vega on Sat, the 18th of December, 2004, 7:24 pm

A priest and a Irish man are having a game of golf together. The
Irish man takes the biggest swing ever............ SMASH a huge
pile of dirt goes flying " OH JESUS CHRIST I F # @ *! ING MISSED "
screamed the Irish man. " hey now you control your language " said
the priest in an angry tone. So they were up to the next hole
now. The Irish man took another almighty swing SWACK the dirt
goes flying. " OH F $ # @ ING HELL JESUS CHRIST I MISSED...

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An English-man, an Irish-man and a Scots-man

Submitted by shane on Fri, the 13th of May, 2005, 10:28 am

There was an English man, an Irish man and a scots man. They
found a dairy slice in a cave. the scots man goes into the cave
and a voice says whatever you do don't eat the slice. so the...

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