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Just thousands of funny jokes

american

Pecker

Submitted by Bob Smith on Sat, the 5th of October, 2002, 9:29 am

And husband and wife are driving down the road and the wife says
" Honey, are you cheating on me? He hesitates and says " Yes
dear, im so sorry " Then all the sudded the wife pulls her
husbands pocket knife out and cuts off his pecker and throughs
it out the window. Following behind them is a little girl and...

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( category: international -> american )

Your a pig

Submitted by katie e eylar on Thu, the 2nd of August, 2001, 10:27 am

This man named Ken Said hi pig to Ashly every time he would see
he. After a few weeks she was mad and filed him for harrasment
and took him to court. That day Ashly won the...

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( category: international -> american )

Californians Are Mad!

Submitted by Stephy on Tue, the 14th of June, 2005, 5:44 pm

An open letter to the rest of America:

America has engaged in some finger wagging lately because
California doesn't have enough electricity to meet its needs.
The rest of the country ( including George W. Bush's energy
secretary Spencer Abraham, who wants Californians to suffer
through blackouts as justification for drilling for oil in
Alaska's Arctic National Wildlife Refuge ) seems to be just fine
with letting Californians dangle in the breeze without enough
power to meet their needs. They laugh at Californians'
frivolity. Well, everybody. Here's how it really is:

California ranks 4 8 th in the nation in power consumed per
person. California grows more than half the nation's fruit, nuts
and vegetables. We're keeping them. We need something to eat
when the power goes out. We grow 9 9 percent or more of the
nation's almonds, artichokes, dates, figs, kiwifruit, olives,
persimmons, pistachios, prunes, raisins and walnuts. Hope you
won't miss them. California is the nation's number one dairy
state. We're keeping our dairy products. We'll need plenty of
fresh ones since our refrigerators can't be relied upon. Got
milk?

We Californians are gonna keep all our high-tech software in
state. Silicon Valley is ours, after all. Without enough
electricity, which you're apparently keeping for yourselves, we
just plain don't have enough software to spare. We're keeping
all our airplanes. California builds a good percentage of the
commercial airliners available to fly you people to where you
want to go. When yours wear out, you'd better hope Boeing's
Washington plant can keep you supplied. There isn't enough...

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( category: international -> american )

Wow!!!!

Submitted by Amanda S Wilhelm on Fri, the 3rd of September, 2004, 2:02 pm

this girl went on a matchmaking website, and put an ad there.
after a week, three people had responded. so she told them her
address and gave each a time to stop by at her house. they had to
tell her the most interesting thing that happened to them this
week, and the one with the most interesting one is the person
she would go out with. so the next day the first guy showed up
while she was in the shower so she put on a towel and asked " so
what's up?. the
guy responded " my dog had puppies!. she gave him a look and
slammed the door in his face. when the next guy arrived, she got
out of the shower put on the...

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( category: international -> american )

your mama

Submitted by Chris Frat on Sat, the 16th of August, 2003, 11:03 pm

Your mama is so fat, that when she got on the ice to skate it
broke!!!

( category: international -> american )

Things your mom would never say

Submitted by Aaron78102 on Wed, the 22nd of November, 2000, 8:59 pm

1. How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?
2. Yeah, I used to cut class a lot too.
3. Let me smell that shirt - don't worry, it's good for another
week.
4. Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I'll be glad to feed
and walk him every day.
5. That outfit isn't sexy enough, here, unbutton your blouse.
6. Why...

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( category: international -> american )

Osama Bin Laden And Pantyhose

Submitted by XxsunshinexX on Mon, the 15th of March, 2004, 5:23 am

What do Osama Bin Laden and pantyhose have in common?

They both irritate Bush.

( category: international -> american )

Fourth of July in England?

Submitted by Dylan W Maloney on Mon, the 7th of March, 2005, 8:07 am

Does England have a fourth of July?

Yes, it also has a first and second.

( category: international -> american )

Whos driving?

Submitted by SexyChic04 on Fri, the 22nd of February, 2002, 4:22 pm

There was an American and a british guy in a car whos driving?

THE COPS!

( category: international -> american )

Spelling

Submitted by Jeff Truthan on Sun, the 27th of March, 2005, 12:59 pm

Wow do Canadians spell their country????

Well... Americans spell it like C-A-N-A-D-A.......

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( category: international -> american )
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