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rednecks

HIlbilly

Submitted by Daisysox on Wed, the 20th of December, 2000, 8:00 pm

How did the hillbilly find his sister in the woods?

GOOD!

( category: ethnic (u.s.) -> rednecks )

Mountain Man

Submitted by Evangeline Serrano on Fri, the 6th of May, 2005, 11:24 pm

One day a family was flying over a mountain range when all of a
sudden a the father snapped and threw the two year old baby out
the window. 1 5 years later, the now 1 7 year-old baby was
sitting on the hill that he eventually landed on when a squirrel
came up to him and said hi. Shocked, the man said " What did you
say? The squirrel replied, " I said, hi you shmuck ".
Immediately, the man picked up the squirrel and said, " I don't
want any talking squirrels by me, and he kicked the squirrel
off the hill.
About a month later, a bunny came up and said hi. Again
shocked, the man said " What did you say? The bunny replied, " I
said, hi you dork ". Immediately, the man picked up the bunny and...

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( category: ethnic (u.s.) -> rednecks )

RedNeck Show And Tell

Submitted by Serena N Tsukino on Sun, the 2nd of June, 2002, 11:22 pm

Redneck Show and Tell

i asked people the question, " If you were a redneck, what would
you bring to school for Show and Tell? Seeing as due to popular
belief, redneck children are required to attend school up until
their early teenage years just like the rest of us ( even though
they may not make it far ), here are the results of a brief
survey by me. Note that many replies are from biased citizens
from the North. I am sure there are some Confederate entries in
here somewhere, though. Here's our funniest responses ( edited
for clarity ):

For the 7 year old: a greased pig contest trophy.
For the 1 1 year old: your pa's gun.
For the 1 2 year old: one of your brothers.
For the 1 4 year old: your ma, cause she's purty.
For the 1 7 year old: your pickup truck, so you can show off your
cool dual exhaust to the rest of your 4 th grade class.
A tooth brush that your one-toothed great grandpa made. If it
were made anywhere else in the south, it would have been a teeth
brush.
Pictures of your summer vacation in Bud's Tavern parking lot
that you took while Mom and Dad drank beer for two weeks.
The one person in your family who is your father, uncle, nephew,
and cousin all by marriage.
A mason jar of dad's homemade whiskey.
A cowpie clock made in sunday school last year.
Mom's recipe for turnip-squash casserole.
Roadkill from last night's hunt.
A tractor tire that killed your cousin.
Your lucky rabbit's foot, that your cousin had with him when he
got ran over by that tractor.
A pyramid made out of beer cans.
Your pet pot-belly pig, Bubba Joe.
Your string of teeth that you've lost over the past 3 5 years of
school.
A relative with a good full set of 4 or 5 teeth.
Your pet pig that was proudly named after mom, and the
accompanying homemade birth videotape made from right inside
your living room! ( or should we say the front part of the...

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( category: ethnic (u.s.) -> rednecks )

You Know You're a Redneck When...

Submitted by Nathan Burns on Thu, the 28th of December, 2000, 11:09 pm

You know when you're a redneck when...

When you mow the lawn, you find three cars.

Your wind chimes are made from empty beer cans.

Your grandma shouts, " Now, Y'all better...

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( category: ethnic (u.s.) -> rednecks )

safe sex for rednecks

Submitted by Mr Crapspew on Wed, the 20th of December, 2000, 9:18 am

what is a rednecks idea of safe sex?
A padded head board.

( category: ethnic (u.s.) -> rednecks )

The hillbilly

Submitted by LEXIELUVSU on Mon, the 4th of February, 2002, 12:36 pm

One day a hillbilly is driving down the road and sees two hitch
hikers. He's a fairly nice fellow and decides to pick them up.
He can instantly tell that they are a little strange but doesn't
really worry about it. They're driving down the road a little
when they hit a bump and one of the hitch hikers lets out an
airy fart. The hillbilly looks over and wonders what is wrong
with that guy. They drive down the road a little more when they...

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( category: ethnic (u.s.) -> rednecks )

Rednecks

Submitted by Guylaine Castro on Tue, the 17th of September, 2002, 11:05 am

What do you call 3 2 rednecks in one room? a full set of teeth!

( category: ethnic (u.s.) -> rednecks )

17 ways to tell if a redneck is on your computer

Submitted by Derek N Wallbank on Wed, the 2nd of July, 2003, 3:00 pm

1. The mouse is referred to as a " critter.
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.
3. There is a skoal can in the CD-ROM drive.
4. The password is, " bubba.
5. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
6. " Winders 9 5 " has a Dale Earnhardt sticker on it.
7. Outgoing faxes have beerstains on them.
8. The printer goes really slow since Bubba don't read too fast.
9. The extra RAM slots have Dodge truck parts installed...

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( category: ethnic (u.s.) -> rednecks )

Virginia vs. West Virginia

Submitted by Stockers on Thu, the 29th of March, 2001, 6:56 pm

What's the difference between Virginia and West Virginia?

In Virginia, Moosehead is a beer. In West Virginia it's a
misdemeanor.

( category: ethnic (u.s.) -> rednecks )

Prize pig

Submitted by Jonathan LoGalbo on Sun, the 21st of July, 2002, 3:37 pm

A farmer, talking to a neighbor, is bragging about his favorite
pig that he owns. He points the pig out to the neighbor. The
neighbor said, " That pig only has three legs--He ain't worth a
hoot. The farmer indignantly replied, " That pig saved my life!
One day I was on my tractor plowing the field near a ditch when
my tractor got too close to the ditch and turned on it's side...

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( category: ethnic (u.s.) -> rednecks )
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