LOL-Jokes.com
Just thousands of funny jokes

sci-fi / fantasy

martians

Submitted by Ron Jeremy on Wed, the 27th of November, 2002, 3:39 am

What did the martians ask for when they came to earth?



Marshmallows

marishan

Submitted by Salman S Dossa on Wed, the 10th of September, 2003, 11:11 am

What did the Martians ask for when they came to earth?





A marshmallow

UFO pot

Submitted by Alex Dobie on Sat, the 27th of October, 2001, 3:37 pm

Q: How does a Martian feel, after he smokes a JOINT?

A: " Spaced Out "!!!!!!!! ( Or way far out )

What kind of ghost...

Submitted by Beth Henry on Sat, the 8th of December, 2001, 7:49 pm

What king of ghost sits in a cloth chair?

An upolster-geist

The Pledge of the Committed Hero Wiener

Submitted by Jim Neill on Thu, the 4th of December, 2003, 12:37 pm

1. I, as a dedicated wiener, pledge to be the wussiest I can, but always
win.

2. Through the course of my journey, I will never act cool.

3. I pledge to effect the lives of everyone I meet, but only in a minute
way....

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The Chinese Restaurant

Submitted by Bill Smith on Fri, the 13th of April, 2001, 7:50 pm

One day, in a cantina, on the planet of Tatooine, Obi-Wan Kenobi
and Luke Skywalker were eating in a " strange and foreign "
Chinese restaurant.

Obi-Wan was eating a won-ton when he noticed that Luke was
having...

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Superheros' Underwear

Submitted by vanderherten Danny on Mon, the 5th of February, 2001, 9:27 am

Have you ever wondered why almost all superheros wear their underwear on
the outside of their pants? Do you find this a little strange. I mean I
wear my underwear on the inside and I don't get any...

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A Typical Scene in RhyDin

Submitted by Josh Morton on Mon, the 21st of October, 2002, 3:48 pm

Her: A wee bonnie lass enters the inn, hips swaying seductively in a clear
cry to be adored for the goddess she is, firm young body jiggling in all
the right places, the wafted scent of a undenyable pheromone filling the
air with intoxicating lusts.

Him: The dashing and handsome bard looks at the door falling madly in love
with the most beautiful woman he has seen in the last five minutes.

Her: She casts her mood ring eyes about, at the moment displaying a
pulsating, intense violet.

Him: He stands and bounds across the room, muscles rippling beneath the
rich doublet laying open to showcase a partial view of rock hard pecks
chiseled in aesthetically pleasing tanned skin.

Her: She shakes out her sunset red hair in an enthralling vision of hair
doing hair things, totally unaware that her peasant blouse has fallen to
her elbow laying one luscious curve of a genetically perfect breast in
partial view.

Him: The bard stands before the mystery woman who will bear his children
in two days gaping at the bared flesh like he has never seen one before in
all his life, his pants suddenly three sizes too small.

Her: She looks at him expectantly, sure he will spew an ode to her obvious
beauty and chaste virtues as is only fitting in such a situation.

Him: Thee art the most beautiful femme ah hath ever looked upon.

Her: M'lor', y'do a wee lass ' ho ' as ne'errrrrrrrrr known ' ha touch o' a
man' grrrrrrea' ' onor.

Him: He stares at her blankly hoping what she said was good and included
an invitation to bed her in the next five minutes because he has to go to
sleep in thirty minutes

Her: She bats her eyes at him artfully, hoping he notes the fact that they
have changed colors to a brilliant and naughty emerald.

Him: Mayest un homme buyeth thou un boisson?

Her: Aye, y'ken.

Him: Smiling his manly winning smile, he strides over to the bar in two
mighty steps to fetch a pair of glasses with bloodwyne just coincidentally
waiting at the bar for him.

Her: She poses while he is away not wanting anyone in the room to forget
that her blouse is falling off quite unbeknownst to her.

Him: He returns and hands her a glass.

Her: She takes it making sure to touch his hand while at the same time
pretending it was him doing the touching.

Him...

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Luke Skywalker

Submitted by D M C on Thu, the 6th of December, 2001, 10:22 pm

One day, Luke Skywalker and Obi-One came into a Chinese
Resturant. They ordered the food and then sat down to eat. " Damm...

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Aliens

Submitted by Jr Sand on Thu, the 6th of November, 2003, 6:58 pm

Two aliens came down to earth to do some research on humans and
to test out their new super weapon too. They land in a desert
and start walking down a dirt road.
They come up to a telephone pole, " Speak earthling or I will
shoot you, says the alien. Now of course the phone pole
didn't utter a word, so the alien shot it. Little peices of
wood flew everywhere. They then went on.
The aliens then came up to a mailbox. " Speak earthling or I'll
shoot you, says the alien again. Well the mailbox didn't say a
word, so it got blasted to itty bitty pieces of metal. The
journey continued. This time the aliens came up to a gas pump.
" Speak earthling or I'll shoot you...

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