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Vulgar language

Submitted by Steve k jackson on Wed, the 22nd of August, 2001, 8:59 am

What were the first curse words heard on T. V.?

" Ward, you were a little rough on the Beaver last night.

( category: entertainment -> movies & tv )

Blone: Job Interview: Indiana Jones

Submitted by Ryan C on Sun, the 11th of April, 2004, 2:39 am

There were three girls waiting to have a job interview. One was
a brounette, one was a red head and the other one was a blone.
The brounette was called up first. The job interview was fine
and at the end the guy asked, " How many D's in Indiana Jones?
And the brounette imidetly answered, " 1. same thing happened
with the red head. But...

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( category: entertainment -> movies & tv )

Star Wars toys that never made it

Submitted by soccer girl on Wed, the 5th of December, 2001, 2:17 pm

1 ) " Luke in Bactine Tank " A favorite scene from " Empire "
recreated in miniature, complete with a removable diaper for
Luke. Unfortunately, it was found that the glowing bactine wash
posed a radioactive health hazard for tykes.

2 ) " Missile Hand Luke " Luke doll with a special lever on his
back which causes his artificial hand to shoot off at 2 5 mph.
Manufacturers recalled it when hands started finding their way
into eyeballs, windpipes, and other orifices.

3 ) " Exploding Death Star " Potential radiation burn / shrapnel
hazard, which did not keep kids from recreating the scene with
their own " normal " Death Star and a few M- 6 0 ' s.

4 ) " Black Princess Leia " Promoted as competition for Mattel's
popular " Black Disco Barbie "; did not find expected level of

5 ) " Incredible Shavable Han Solo " Sprouted real hair; failed
miserably when tested on real kids.

6 ) " Dissect An Ewok Kit " The deal was off when Play-doh pulled
out at the last minute.

7 ) " Nit-laden Chewbacca " Concept behind this was that kids would
enjoy picking nits off of a large, furry Chewbacca. Didn't do
well, since it came with real nits which quickly spread to other
parts of the house.

8 ) The Ugnaught figures made from Genetically altered mice. PETA
sank that one real quick.

9 ) Emperor Palpatine Doll / Tesla Coil. Hey kids, real lightning!
Kill your enemies! Nixed due to obvious danger of children
accidentally running up huge power bills.

1 0 ) Full scale working Death Star Kit. Kenner built one fully
working model, but it was destroyed. They were halfway finished
with their second when it too was destroyed. Plans were scrapped
to build any more.

1 1 ) Darth Vader Funeral Pyre. They couldn't figure out how to
make a character who had been 4 inches tall and thin into a
character 2. inches tall and fat as a slug once you removed his
helmet. Also a problem with the fact that it only worked once.

1 2 ) Aunt Beru doll. Nixed as just plain stupid. A huge loss to
those fans of Bok Choi and blue Kool-aid out there.

1 3 ) " Real-Guts " Tauntaun. Also referred to as " The Visible
Tauntaun. Once you pulled off the skin, you could see all the
internal organs. Much like real tauntauns, it stank to high
heaven. Other problem: Like similar toy " The Visible Man,
Visible Tauntaun's organs never went back in right and you were
always left with an extra organ or two.

1 4 ) " Learn the Force At Home " Kit. Included self-hypnosis
training tapes and rocks to lift. Recalled after thousands of
children with no strong parental figure turned to the Dark Side,
killing their parents and saying things like " You are part of
the Rebel Alliance and you did not make me the type of sandwich
that I like! while strangling them from across the room.

1 5 ) " Fun Fusion Grenade. Seen in the exciting throneroom scene
in Return of the Jedi where a disguised Leia holds it up to...

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( category: entertainment -> movies & tv )

I Want to Live Forever

Submitted by WaiSan Kwan on Mon, the 2nd of February, 2004, 1:33 pm

A guy found an old lamp, rubbed it, and out came a genie. The
genie said to make 3 wishes. So first he said, " I want to be
rich. All of the sudden his house was...

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( category: entertainment -> movies & tv )

Islamic Buckwheat

Submitted by Ali R Hausfeld on Sun, the 25th of May, 2003, 8:45 pm

Buckwheat joined the Nation of Islam...
His new name is Kareem of Wheat.

( category: entertainment -> movies & tv )

Rejected Titles For Star Wars:Episode Two

Submitted by Demitry Dorfman on Sun, the 14th of October, 2001, 4:09 am

- Episode Two... Dignity, Shmignitty

- Star Wars Episode Two: The Empire Phones It In

- Jedi Jedi Bang Bang

- There's Something About Anakin

- Star Wars Episode Two: Steaming Crap On a Stick

- Star Wars: Anakin Pie 2

- O Profits, Where...

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( category: entertainment -> movies & tv )

Things the Movies Really Teach Us

Submitted by nannygoat on Fri, the 12th of April, 2002, 12:17 pm

3 rd base does not feel like apple pie, it feels like vulcanized
rubber. This can lead to much pain with continued thrusting.

You can get anywhere with a little luck and a box of chocolates.
Hard work, intelligence, its all crap.

If you are a brave heart, shut up now. You'll only get you and
your girlfriend killed. Also true for gladiators.

Never, EVER, choose the fish over the boat. Perfect Storms tend
to destroy both.

If you find an old book with ancient writing on it, rumored to...

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( category: entertainment -> movies & tv )

Rules for Soap Operas (With Comments)

Submitted by christopher nehme on Tue, the 1st of October, 2002, 7:56 pm

1. You always have to save someone's life, always. ( If they are
going to die because they ticked off an explosives expert,
that's your problem. Not mine!

2. The richest family in the world is always in your town, and
usually mad at you. ( Funny, I've never met Bill Gates, or even
seen him!

3. Never hesitate to take a vacation from work, they will always
find someone to cover for you, your reasons don't matter, and
you will never get fired. This applies to those times when you
need to skip town for a month because that bad guy is trying to
kill you. ( Wouldn't that be nice???

4. You are always the BEST at what you do and there is ALWAYS
someone out there trying to beat you. ( That brings a whole new
meaning to arch nemesis for me.

5. Someone is always trying to kill you or stalk you. ( Only in

6. It is possible to become a rocket scientist by the age of 2 0
as long as you are blonde and pretty. ( I guess that explains why
I don't have a job!

7. You can break into anyone's house within two minutes.
Experience with locks and security alarms / guards are never a
problem to get rid of. Dogs will always be distracted by a bone.
( Criminals, give all your compliments to the writers!

8. For the men, a beautiful young girl will easily fall in love
with you, even if you are a bum. ( Everyone has their good

9. No fat people exist. ( I guess I should break out those

1 0. Bad guys are always bad for no reason and have no
explanations for what they do, other than they are plain evil.
( Well that explains my mother-in-law!

1 1. Vampires do indeed exist, and you are usually in love with
them. ( Not someone I'd like to take home to Ma. But hey, that's
just me!...

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( category: entertainment -> movies & tv )

Game Show

Submitted by Cameron Rivard on Mon, the 30th of August, 2004, 7:09 pm

A man has been trying to get on a game show for a number of
months. He finally gets the show, and is doing well, until the
$ 6 4 0, 0 0 question. The host says, " Okay Bob, you're doing well,
and here's the...

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( category: entertainment -> movies & tv )

Austin Powers Tiff

Submitted by Yum Yum on Wed, the 31st of October, 2001, 12:11 pm

From USA Today, June 2 3 1 9 9 9

Tamatha Brannon of suburban Atlanta said Tuesday that she has
filed an obscenity complaint against Toys'R'Us because her
1 1 - year-old son picked up an Austin Powers doll that asked, " Do
I make you horny, baby, do I? Exposure to the doll forced a
vocabulary word on her son " that he otherwise would never have
known to ask, Brannon says. McFarlane Toys, maker of the doll,
says the...

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( category: entertainment -> movies & tv )
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