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A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA (Federal...

Submitted by ResdntEvilFreak on Tue, the 6th of January, 2004, 6:35 am

A New Orleans lawyer sought an FHA ( Federal Housing Administration ) loan for a client. He was told that the loan would be granted if he could prove satisfactory title to property offered as collateral. The title dated back to 1 8 0 3, and he had to spend three months running it down. After sending the information to FHA, he got this reply: " We received your letter today enclosing application for loan for your client, supported by abstract of title. Let us compliment you on the able manner in which you prepared and presented the application. However, you have not cleared the title before the year 1 8 0 2, and therefore, before final approval can be accorded the application, it will be necessary that the title be cleared back to that year.

Annoyed, the lawyer replied: " Your letter regarding titles in Case No. 1 8 9 1 5 6 received. I note that you wish titles extended further back than I have presented them. I was unaware...

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A street person approached a passerby. "Sir,...

Submitted by Josh Price on Sat, the 29th of December, 2001, 9:05 pm

A street person approached a passerby. " Sir, would you give me $ 1 0 0 for a cup of coffee?

" That's ridiculous! the...

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A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to...

Submitted by Brian 17 on Tue, the 26th of September, 2000, 2:32 am

A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: " Hey look, I'm a vet - I don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can...

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Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor...

Submitted by Kevin N Wong on Fri, the 12th of September, 2003, 5:58 am

Every night, Frank would go down to the liquor store, get a six pack, bring it home, and drink it while he watched TV. One night, as he finished his last beer, the doorbell rang. He stumbled to the door and found a six-foot cockroach standing there. The bug grabbed him by the collar and threw him across the room, then left.

The next night, after he finished his 4 th beer, the doorbell rang. He walked slowly to the door and found the same six-foot cockroach standing there. The big bug punched him in the stomach, then left.

The next night, after he finished...

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After discovering her young daughter playing...

Submitted by oniyae on Thu, the 3rd of May, 2001, 6:21 pm

After discovering her young daughter playing doctor with the neighbor's boy, the angry mother grabbed the boy by the ear and dragged him to his house and confronted his mother.

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A man calls his lawyer and asks: "How much...

Submitted by greb0 on Thu, the 20th of May, 2004, 7:40 am

A man calls his lawyer and asks: " How much would you charge me to answer three questions?

Lawyer...

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What do you call it when a law firm goes skydiving?...

Submitted by Tera M Sorensen on Wed, the 13th of October, 2004, 7:07 pm

What do you call it when a law firm goes skydiving? Skeet.

This guy went into a doctor's office and told...

Submitted by yo mama jokes on Wed, the 14th of November, 2001, 10:21 am

This guy went into a doctor's office and told the nurse, " I have a problem with my dick. The nurse, half horrified, said, " I am amazed that you have the audacity to use that language here. I will not help you until you call ' it' something else. A...

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A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting...

Submitted by Eddi J Mur on Tue, the 29th of June, 2004, 7:24 am

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. " Whats with these guys ", says the engineer " We must have been waiting for over 2 5 minutes!!. " I don't know " answers the doctor, " but I've never seen such ineptitude!!. " Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Lets have a word with him, and find out who these guys are ". says the priest, who then turns around and says " Hi George. Say George, what's with that group ahead of us, they are rather slow, aren't they? George: " Oh yes. Thats a group...

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"I'm in love with you," the hospital patient...

Submitted by Prosthetic Head on Sat, the 13th of October, 2001, 2:47 pm

" I'm in love with you, the hospital patient told his nurse. " I don't want to get well.

" You won't, said the nurse. " The doctor saw you kissing me, and he's in love with me too.

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