Once upon a time, allegedly, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned
bunny and an orphaned snake. By surprising coincidence both were blind from
birth. One day, the bunny was ho

I can only please one person per day. today is not your day. tomorrow is not
looking good either.

i love deadlines. i especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go

The following ads acutally appeared in newspapers:

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1. It's an incentive to show up.

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25. "My plan to find the real killers" by OJ Simpson
24. "To all the men I've loved before" by Ellen DeGeneres
23. "The Book of Virtues" by Bill Clinton
22. The Difference between Re

I had someone ask for an aisle seat so that his or her hair
wouldn't get messed up by being near the window.

A client called in inquiring about a package to Hawaii. After
goin

Chocolate Chip Cookies Recipe:

Ingredients:

1.) 532.35 cm3 gluten

2.) 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3

3.) 4.9 cm3 refined halite

4.) 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tal

- The bandage was wound around the wound.

- The farm was used to produce produce.

- The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

- He could lead if he

Why did the former porn actor get fired from his job as a gas
station attendant?

Right before the tanks were full, he would pull out the
nozzle and spray gas all over the car.

A young man, hired by a supermarket, reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the