Q: Why was the lawyer skimming the Bible right before he died?
A: He was looking for loopholes!

An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing.A few minutes later, the pilot

A man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. He asked, "Give it to me straight. How long have I got?" The physician replied that he doubted that the man would survive the night.

Two guys, George and Harry, set out in a hot air balloon to cross the Atlantic ocean. After 37 hours in the air, George says "Harry, we better lose some altitude so we can see where we are."

Saint Peter was having a slow day at the Pearly Gates so he took a little stroll. He noticed that the fence between heaven and hell was in need of some repair. So he hollers over the fence to Lucifer.

NASA was interviewing professionals to be sent to Mars. Only one could go, but with one catch - he couldn't return to Earth.

The first applicant, an engineer, was asked how much he wan

What's the difference between a blonde and a redhead in bed?A blonde let's you leave the bed when you are satisfied - a redhead let's you leave the bed when SHE is satisfied.

Applying for a job, the new lawyer was asked if paying back his law school tuition would be a problem."No," he replied. "I paid that back right after my first case.""Really," said the

A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. "If I lose this case, I'll be ruined."

"It's in the judge's hands now," said the lawyer.

A man walks into a bar and he's really pissed. The bartender gives him a drink
and asks what the problem is. All he says is, "all lawyers are a*******."

A man sitting in the cor